The new Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales trailer looks pretty cool. So what can we learn from it?

After a disappointing fourth instalment of the franchise, can the fifth restore its former glory?

Well, we don’t know, but Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales is anything like like the new trailer, then it should be pretty fucking epic. Here’s the basic rundown of the synopsis:

“Thrust into an all-new adventure, a down-on-his-luck Captain Jack Sparrow finds the winds of ill-fortune blowing even more strongly when deadly ghost pirates led by his old nemesis, the terrifying Captain Salazar (Bardem), escape from the Devil’s Triangle, determined to kill every pirate at sea…including him. Captain Jack’s only hope of survival lies in seeking out the legendary Trident of Poseidon, a powerful artefact that bestows upon its possessor total control over the seas.”

I mean, it’s not exactly groundbreaking, but it’s a narrative formula that works.

Yet again, Jack Sparrow is on the run from his nemesis, all hope resides on finding a legendary magical thingy. And yet again we have an army of creatures planted into the film.

Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales
I kill you now. Source: Screen Rant

Will Turner

The trailer revealed some interesting things. Ladies, please contain your orgasms: Orlando Bloom will be back as Will Turner – only this time he looks far more interesting. Previously all he did was follow Elizabeth around like a Jackal sniffing the ass of a wounded gazelle, follow his father and then switching sides a bunch.

He was a pretty flat character who didn’t have much going on except make Jack Sparrow seem way cooler. He only became interesting during the final bit of At World’s End when Jack makes Will stab Davy Jones’ heart.

Judging by the shit on his face (see image below), Will Turner looks like he is about to get a whole lot more interesting. It is yet to be determined whether he’ll pick the die of good or evil. 

Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales
What’s that shit on his face. Source: Screen Rant

Unknown Creepy Woman

An unknown woman says “The dead have taken command of the sea.” Call me crazy but this kind of sounds like Tia Dalma. Of course she no longer exists, but this unknown woman seems to fill the void that Tia left when her character departed the franchise.

Let’s be honest, Tia Dalma was one of the coolest parts of the original trilogy. Hopefully this unknown woman will bring back an air of mysteriousness. We are hopeful that she will make this movie VERY interesting.

Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales
Unknown creepy woman. Source: hypable.com

Henry

Henry, played by Brenton Thwaites, can be seen in the teaser trailer. Most of us assume that he is Will’s son.

Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales
Hey there sexy. Source: creators.co

Keira Knightly

Nope sorry, not in this one!

Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales
Mmm dat face. Source: The Christian Post

Carina

She will be played by Kaya Scodelario. Maybe she’ll be a love interest for Henry, or maybe she will have her own thing going on entirely. According to Scodelario:

“[Carina] is an astronomer, and she is an academic. She’s fighting for the right to study at university, because women couldn’t at that time. So she’s on her own journey – looking for the trident of Poseidon – and she has a diary with clues, and she encounters Jack Sparrow along the way, and he messes everything up.”

Let’s hope this character is more than just a love interest.

Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales
Carina Smyth. Source: Digital Spy

Hector Barbossa

He looks to be on his last leg in this film (pun intended). We’ve witnessed him go from a pirate, to a dead man, to a pirate, to a privateer, to a pirate again, and now we honestly don’t know what the fuck is going to happen to him. He’s already died a few times but an actual death could hit us right in the feels. As interesting as he is, it’s time we lay this character to rest I reckon.

Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales
It’s me again. Source: PotC Wiki

Captain Salazar

He will be played by Javier Bardem. We know that he’s the leader of the ghost army that’s hunting down Jack because it’s not a Pirates of the Caribbean enough unless some hideously scary dude is looking for him. Despite the cool CGI effects, Captain Salazar seems like another gimmick. Let’s hope I’m wrong. After Blackbeard failed to scare the audience, Captain Salazar has some work to do.

Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales
Am i scary yet? Source: Comic Book Movie

So there you have it, my analysis of the new trailer for Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales.

You can catch the whole trailer here:

Do you have high hopes for this film or are you jaded by the previous one?

A professional writer and actor. I enjoy watching cult classics and eating chicken. Just your average dude.