Ever since the dawn of Splatoon, the people have looked to each Splatfest to determine the answers to life’s toughest questions.
Do you like pirates or ninjas more? Do people prefer roller coasters to water slides? Are cats better than dogs? These are just some of the real nail biters that Splatoon players got to answer in the game’s recurring event, Splatfest.
Nintendo’s popular new property innovated in many ways on the old shooter formula. Not just in the game’s mechanics, but also its online community. Splatfest was the pinnacle of this.
Every three weeks or so, the game stopped its random matches and instead assigned players to teams based on their answers to questions designed to split the fanbase. Pizza or burgers, Autobots or Decepticons, Pokemon Red or Pokemon Blue. You get the drift.
The questions may have been a little silly, but dammit, the people cared. Mainly because each answer to these soul-searching questions was represented by one of the guardian angels of Splatoon. The pop-idol due of Callie and Marie.
Now both of these characters were instantly iconic in that uniquely Nintendo way and both were universally loved. That fact turned out to be incredibly important to how Splatefest ran, but more about that later.
The final Splatfest for the original Splatoon was a huge success. It was the question everybody knew was coming, but the community had to finally decide which one of their idols was the best. It was a harsh battle with popularity and win ratios separated by only a few percentage points, but the outcome was clear.
Marie was the people’s champion and Callie turned to the dark side. The balance was preserved.
Then, Marina, everything changed.
Fans were understandably excited at the announcement of two new idols for Splatoon 2. And when we finally got to see Marina and Pearl in action, we loved them.
How could we have been so wrong?
It happened slowly. As more and more people saw the new idols their popularity began to split. Marina was the clear favourite, dominating the fan art, while some people had issues with Pearl…
Nikki said Pearl was Rat Baby and I can’t not see it pic.twitter.com/STP4tZe8Zk
— Siro (@SkeletonSiro) July 6, 2017
Pearl was called a goblin, ghoul or worse and more and more fans were joining the cult of Marina. I wasn’t until the first Splatfest for Splatoon 2 did the problem finally reveal itself.
Just like for Callie and Marie, the new idols began to embody the answers the represented. In true Splatefest fashion, the first question was a doozy: what is the better dessert? Cake or ice cream. The warriors once again assembled. Marina stood for ice cream, Pearl for Cake. In the end, it was a landslide.
Cake won a measly 24% of the vote while ice cream pulled in a mammoth 76%.
But this wasn’t just about the food. A quick search on Twitter revealed that while many thought that cake was the superior choice, they were blinded by their love for Marina and forsook the sacred commitment that every participant of Splatfest swears to.
Don’t vote for the idol. Vote for the choice you believe.
If future Splatfests continue this trend, it may be the end for a fair and impartial Splatoon. But it will be worth it because Marina is awesome. I mean, just look at her.