Transformers: The Last Knight
Transformers The Last Knight Promotional Image

Is there more to Transformers: The Last Knight than meets the eye?

Transformers: The Last Knight is the fifth movie in the Transformers franchise and is once again directed by Michael Bay. Michael Bay is not the worst director in Hollywood but boy is he up there.

For the last decade almost every film Michael Bay put out has been terrible, which is really sad because Bay has talent. The Rock (1996) was a decent action flick, Armageddon (1998) is a guilty pleasure of mine and the first Transformers (2007) wasn’t bad either!

Optimus Prime
Our lord and savior Optimus Prime – source: Slashfilm

However, the last three installments of the Paramount produced franchise have gotten progressively worse. I went into Transformers: The Last Knight with an open mind and a glimmer of hope that Bay would redeem himself and deliver a fun sequel. Boy was I naive, because this movie is absolute garbage.

Transformers: The Last Knight is, quite simply, a waste of money.

If a big movie studio gave $200 million to a bunch of eight year olds and let them make any movie they wanted, that movie would be Transformers: The Last Knight. Nothing in this movie makes any sense, the characters are boring and annoying, and some of them are just plain unnecessary.

The dialogue in this film is so bad, I bet the actual script was written in crayon. The Last Knight is just mindless action sequences one after the other with exposition dumps in between.

Transformers 5
50 shades of gun metal grey  – source: Screen Rant

The only positive thing about this film is the action and visual effects. They’re cool to look at but it’s hard to give a crap about what’s happening on screen as I wasn’t for a moment invested in the characters or the storyline – or lack thereof.

Even some of the camerawork is dodgy. Bay shot a lot of the film on IMAX. Normally in IMAX certain scenes fill up the whole screen but most of the movie is shown on a 16:9 widescreen. However, Bay cuts IMAX scenes together with scenes shot in a 16:9 ratio and the aspect ratios constantly change, which is really jarring.

Give us more Transformers and less people!

Michael Bay consistently fails to learn from his mistakes. Instead of focusing on the Transformers themselves, he shoves two dimensional human characters down our throat and expects us to care about them.

Mark Wahlberg returns and he’s okay, he isn’t bad. You can tell he’s trying do his best with the material he’s given. Laura Haddock stars in the film and is probably only in here because she looks like a discount Megan Fox.

Transformers 5
Marky Mark and discount Megan Fox are here to save the day – source: Slashfilm

Bay drags poor old Anthony Hopkins into this and turns him into annoying old exposition medium. You just can’t help feel bad for the guy, but then you have to remember that Hopkins is here for the pay check and nothing else. Josh Duhamel returns but I couldn’t give a crap about his character either.

The humour in the film is the same as its always been in the franchise: unfunny and forced. There were numerous attempts at jokes but none of them landed.

Oh, and Optimus Prime, who’s all over the promotional material, is in the movie for about 10 minutes. Talk about a bait and switch.  The big throw down at the end with Bumblebee also lasts for about two minutes. Wow.

anthony hopkins transformers 5
2017 will be remembered as the year Anthony Hopkins sold out – source: Geektyrant

Final thoughts…

By the end of the film even the producers realise how bad their movie is and strategically place a post-credits scene 10 seconds after the credits roll to stop the audience from running out of the theatre in mass.

Transformers: The Last Knight is a big, bloated mess of a movie and easily the worst film of 2017 so far. The sad thing is that it will probably make bucket loads of money and spawn more sequels.

This may be Michael Bay’s last in the franchise but it doesn’t change the fact that he has cemented himself as one of the worst directors in Hollywood today.

This franchise has hit rock bottom, but that means from here there’s no where to go but up. Hopefully for future installments, Paramount hires a talented director who knows how to tell a story. They probably won’t, but I can dream right?

I love film, adore video games and am ambivalent towards anime.