Recapping Game of Thrones Season 7 Episode 1: Dragonstone
Daenerys is a boss. Source: Gizmodo

With the Seventh Season of Game of Thrones off to an amazing start, we recap Episode 1: Dragonstone to prepare you for Episode 2: Stormborn. 

Are you ready kids?! We’re finally here! After a fucking year of waiting, we’re finally here! Winter has arrived, the Starks have returned, Daenerys has landed in Dragonstone, and I – I mean the show – has finally come to its climax.

So, like most of us writing here at Digital Fox, I am REALLY into Game of Thrones, and I just wanted to share with you all some thoughts I had on this week’s episode – Dragonstone. A lot of people have already started complaining that this was a pretty bad episode, mainly because it was anti-climactic.

But what do people expect? Last episode in the Winds of Winter there was so much happening, there has to be at least one entire episode to set up where everyone is at. And in it’s own right that shouldn’t be interesting – but thanks to the genius which are the showrunners David Benioff and Dan Weiss we got a very entertaining episode full of character development and emotional arcs.

Now because this is going to be a recap, and I don’t even know why I’m still saying this, but only read this article if you’ve watch the episode, because there will be some spoilers. Okay. Have you finished? Good. Also each heading will be related to Ed Sheeran songs because reasons. And now we can get going!

The Twins on the Hill

Recapping Game of Thrones Season 7 Episode 1: Dragonstone
Kill some Freys (Like a boss). Source: Game of Thrones

1.      Dun Du- wait a second, where are the opening credits?
2.      Didn’t Walder Frey die last season, I swear Arya killed him?
3.      Wait a second…
4.      Ohhhhhh
5.      OHHHHHHHHHH
6.      Is she gonna kill them all?
7.      YESSSSSSS
8.      Do it!
9.      Yes Arya, roast them to the Seven Hells and back!
10.   That was so satisfying. Seven years of character development well spent.
11.   So, is ‘Winter came for House Frey’ going to be the Stark version of the ‘Lannisters send their regards’? If so, I approve.

Let it Storm

Recapping Game of Thrones Season 7 Episode 1: Dragonstone
I’m glad that everyone’s on the right side of the Wall. Source: Wetpaint

12.   Dun dun, doo doo, dun dun, doo doo, dun dun., doo doo, dun dun…
13.   This winter landscape has gone just a bit too long.
14.   Hey, what’s that in the distance?
15.   Is that a snowstorm? That’s funny because Jon just send in the intro that the enemy won’t wait out the storm, but bring the storm.
16.   So many White Walkers!
17.   So many wights (the dead people resurrected by the White Walkers).
18.   Is that a giant in the back?
19.   HOW IS JONNO GOING TO TAKE OUT NOT ONE, BUT THREE ZOMBIE GIANTS?
20.   Come on Ed, just let Bran through!
21.   Oh come on Bran, you haven’t proved who you said you are at all! All you’ve done is scare the shit out Ed.
22.   Well no one but a Stark would talk in such a grim and depressing manner, so he must be a Stark right?

Thinking Out Loud

Recapping Game of Thrones Season 7 Episode 1: Dragonstone
This girl could even beat Chuck Norris in a fight. Source: Game of Thrones

23.   I wonder what Jon thinks about Jodie Whittaker being The Doctor?
24.   Vote Jon for #equality
25.   FUCK YES LYANNA
26.   FUCK YES TORMUND
27.   FUCK OFF YOHN ROYCE (He’s one of the lords that Littlefinger brought to save Jon when all was lost in the Battle of The Bastards)
28.   Both Jon and Sansa make very valid points, but seriously guys, you should have had this conversation in private and then address everyone with a united front. Rookie error.
29.   But damn Jon is bloody inspiring.
30.   “That decision is final”, no need to humiliate Sansa like that in public, you need her as your ally Jonno, don’t give her a reason to side with Littlefinger.
31.   Alys and Ned are so cute, I hope they’ll be just as good as Lyanna. Having said that, Lyanna’s raised such a high bar such that they have really big (but actually tiny) boots to fill.
32.   STOP SMILING LITTLEFINGER IT’S CREEPY.
33.   You know, coming into season 7, I thought there’d be a lot more beef between Sansa and Jon mainly because it looked like Sansa was so disappointed when Jon was elected as ‘King of the North’. I thought she’d be super salty about that and hence team with Littlefinger. But it looks like her and Jon are still making a very good team. Really good to see the Starks staying together. Just bring in Bran and Arya and Benjin and then we’d have the whole set.
34.   “And how should I be smarter? By listening to you?” dammit Jon stop being a dickhead!

What Do I Know?

35.   They were waiting for a map their entire lives?
36.   Well it just looks like Cersei has lots of beef with everyone.
37.   Okay you know what Cersei you’re being very selfish – a good monarch would do what’s best for the realm.
38.   Okay but how in hell did the Greyjoys even manage to build one ship on their collection of islands WHICH ARE LITERALLY TREELESS!

Recapping Game of Thrones Season 7 Episode 1: Dragonstone
Now do you see any trees here? Source: Game of Thrones Wiki

39.   Something I’ve noticed, why is everyone wearing black? Even the Kingsguard, who are supposed to be covered in white are wearing black.
40.   Let’s just replace Euron with Captain Jack Sparrow though.
41.   What accent is Euron going with? Much confused.
42.   Does Euron have a hard-on for Jaime?
43.   Does Euron have a hard-on for Jaime and Cersei?
44.   “Two good hands” – SICK BURN.
45.   So have the Greyjoys and the Lannisters made an alliance? He’s getting her a gift? What does that mean dammit?

The City(del)

Recapping Game of Thrones Season 7 Episode 1: Dragonstone
That’s me during week 10 of semester. Source: Game of Thrones

46.   Poor Sam.
47.   Pooooooor Sam.
48.   That shit must really stink (insert winky face emoji here)
49.   Of all the death and gore and putrid things which has happened in Game of Thrones, this by far takes the cake. Poor Sam.
50.   I recognize that voice… That’s Professor Slughorn! (from Harry Potter, the Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher in the Half Blood Prince)
51.   You know what, Sam’s hair is really on point. He’s even gelled it and everything

You Need Me

Recapping Game of Thrones Season 7 Episode 1: Dragonstone
If Brienne won’t take you, I will Tormund. Source: Game of Thrones

52.   “You’re a lucky man” YES TORMUND!
53.   Fuck off Littlefinger, stop being creepy! He’s even doing the evil head turn look so you know they’re villainous – looking at you Emperor Palpatine.
54.   Okay this conversation is literally most encounters on Tinder
55.   “No need to seize the last word Lord Bailish, I’ll assume it’ll be something clever” – SLAY SANSA, SLAY!

Hands of Gold

Recapping Game of Thrones Season 7 Episode 1: Dragonstone
I really hope Arya doesn’t kill Ed. Source: Game of Thrones

56.   “For hands of gold are always cold, but a woman’s hands are warm” – for those who haven’t read the books, that song was actually written about Tyrion and his love affair with Shae.
5
7.   HOLY SHIT IT’S ED FUCKING SHEERAN. WHAT’S HE DOING HERE?
58.   Oh come on Arya, don’t kill Ed Sheeran.
59.   It looks like they’re deliberately humanizing the enemy so Arya will get a bit more of a conscious. While Arya has been slaying left right and centre, it’s good to see her develop a stronger moral compass.
60.   “Are you old enough to drink?” – Please sir, tell me more about the intricacies of Westerosi drinking laws.

I see Fire

Recapping Game of Thrones Season 7 Episode 1: Dragonstone
Now I ain’t saying he a gravedigger. Source: Game of Thrones

61.   “It’s snowing Thoros, it’s windy, it’s going to be a cold night.” Fucking love Sandor.
62.   “Don’t like that shit, it’s too sweet.” Can Sandor do nothing wrong?
63.   Honestly if I hadn’t seen the intro at the beginning of this episode, I would have had no idea what’s going on and why Sandor is so hesitant to go inside that house.
64.   “You think you’re fooling anyone with that top-knot?” Sandor is just comedic gold.
65.   Throughout the casual shade that Sandor is throwing at everyone, for some reason his scenes feel really emotional – maybe it’s because we can see his transition from a hard, brash, self-centred, pessimist, into a slightly more empathetic pessimist.
66.   “It’s my fucking luck I end with a band of fire-worshippers”, whoever wrote this scene must have had so much fun I swear.
67.   But seriously, when Sandor starts seeing things in the flames, you can’t help but think that the religion of R’hllor (Melisandre’s religion) is a bit more legit than the graces of the Seven.
68.   “The dead are marching past.” Okay I’m starting to shiver a bit, you can stop now Sandor.
69.   I think this scene may be a nod to the books but I could also be just pulling at straws so hear me out. In the books, after Arya leaves Sandor, he gets picked up by Septons of the Faith of the Seven. They take him to a monastery on the Quiet Isle and he supposedly dies there. However, fans speculate that Sandor didn’t actually die but became a novice at the monastery, swore a vow of silence and became the ‘Gravedigger’, where he now serves penance by burying the number of people he killed. Regardless if Sandor is the Gravedigger in the books or not, this scene really shows his conscious coming into play as he tries to amend some of the wrongs he’s committed in the past.

Jorah’s a Mess

Recapping Game of Thrones Season 7 Episode 1: Dragonstone
Jorah’s grayscale has gotten pretty bad. Source: Game of Thrones

70.   Sam is literally every and all university students out there.
71.   Okay but Sammy, why would you not believe Stannis? He’s not the kind of person to lie or boast. This just seems like a cheap way to make up for the fact that they didn’t go to Dragonstone earlier.
72.   They’re focusing on these door for too long, somethings about to happen.
73.   If there’s a bloody jump scare I swear to R’hllor.
74.   FUCK OFF WITH THE JUMP SCARES.
75.   WAIT, IS THAT JORAH!? DID HE TOUCH SAM!? IS SAM GOING TO GET GREYSCALE?

All of the Dragonstone

A Queen is Home. Source: HBO

76.   Enter Daenerys and co.
77.   This music is actually fantastic, I can feel my skin start to prickle already.
78.   But seriously, why is everyone wearing black?
79.   Is she going to start flying like Superman? Because she’s positioned that way.
80.   Oh no, she’s just touching sand.
81.   I think this is the first time we’re getting a proper look at Dragonstone – whenever we saw Stannis it was always just in that war-room.
82.   Cool chair.
83.   “Shall we begin.” Well wasn’t that an anti-climactic and non-fulfilling way to end off the episode?

Your Friendly Neighbourhood Writer Man. My love for telling puns is only rivalled by my love for procrastination.